Loss

I feel the loss, through the months in 2012. 

I did not expect them at all, no, not at all. especially not in my this phase of life. Do i feel i am being abandoned? not really. how about forgotten? maybe not. It is just a coincidental phase whereby everyone start to have change.

The Leongs left for Seattle since Jun. It took me a while to adjust, maybe not too. I was busy with family visit and vacation. Then being pampered by the grandparent also made it worse. Sigh. Where is my Sunday dinner and Wednesday line dancing session. That day the boys are back in SD for a weekend and Isaiah can't even remember my name. That was sad.

GeorgeFoo. He first spotted me near MP03 bcoz I speak Singlish. Since then he has been looking out for me, always. And slowly he become my unofficial godfather. I basically ask him anything from oil change to insurance query. He has all the lobangs! Today, he retires after some 30 years of service in HP. He is the best coolie of all. 

HowardM. He is my first ever faithful and kind counterpart of all. Although he can be long winded in the technical explanation, you can tell that he is very patient. Old school and believe in good things. He was one of the rare American who invited me to his house soon after I arrived in this country. I met all his family members!

BillH. He was the manager of Howard's team. He can be pretty blunt and sarcastic. I do not know how sincere and truthful he is, at times. But i trust that he meant for my good. He warned me not to go to downtown or Tijuana by myself. He also said I should get together with him some day as he thinks that I have not discovered San Diego as what a San Diegan should!

188 from SD site. I am unsure how many from other HP sites. It is truly a loss to the company. It marks the end of an era. 

Who is responsible in creating a better tomorrow for HP? You? Me?

Exodus Aug 2012

In my career thus far, this is the first time I witness so many of people leaving the company on the very same day. Yes, they have fought a very good battles for the year they had been with HP. Much of the innovations and technology breakthrough had their footprint. No one will ever imagine a garage will become a multi-billion business, with USD538 as starting capital. Bill and Dave made it!  

Some leave for greener pasture. It is ironic to see that Aug 31 is their last day with HP and the following Monday they are heading to competitor-likewise company to work, which is across the street! In addition, they are given 2 months to prepare for the retirement. On a hindsight, once you quit for competitor, they walk you out the door immediately. But these people. They pay you to walk out the door without escort! and probably allow you ample of time to do data back up :)

The interesting joke is that...At corporate level no one is allowed to publish who are the EER takers. Isn't that odd to know that your fellow comrades are leaving for 'retirement' and you only get to know it on the very last day of their service? hehe... && you attend the EER celebration without knowing who are we celebrating for? For ICE, we are transparent enough. not for other organization though.

 

I would say. They took pride in the old HP, which was very successful in the old HP Way and thus it results a great company 2 decades ago. Things has changed profoundly. The short term financial outlook determines our so-called strategic move. No growth = cut. 

As of Aug 31, we will lose many brains. Yet their contributions would never be forgotten. Thank God that our paths actually crossed. HowardM, BillH, GeorgeF. They trio took EER. I will definitely miss them in my upcoming HP day

Yosemite National Park II

Day4

Morning we drove back to Yosemite Valley to see the El Capitan and found the picturesque place where the trademark picture was always taken. Nice rest near the green and the seats near the vacation home was comfortable. The unexpected gesture took place and we were shocked. Oh well, nothing very special happened though. 

We then head toward Sacramento to visit our friend who moved there and has since given birth to a lovely baby boy, Iron.

Prior to that, we had a scheme. Trying to get a cake or something like that for the bday boy. Oh boy, that was tough. Have to hide and buy something secretly. Well, in the name of buying stuff for Lan, we managed to get buy. Lan and family prepared a sumptuous dinner for us. The parents are chatty. Iron is a strong healthy baby. He smiles a lot. Hehe. We had a nice fellowship that evening. We were all tired.

 

Oh well, the plan was that we bathe, then rest. And when it is 12midnight, we will knock on their door. Apparently both Charles and YY fell asleep very soon. I think  that is a big difference between man and woman. Woman always take forever to wash up while guys are not. They just chop chop then koon. Haha. Anyway, it was about 11pm and we have decided to knock on their door. YY was shocked. Haha. that was a good surprise ya.

Day5
The breakfast was a tensed one. We were on the topic whereby should they go and register for their marriage due to some personal reasons. Oh well, both YY and myself can’t really help with that. It is a bit odd for us to sit around. but since we travel together, we got to know what is the plan for the day ahead. Right? in the end, no marriage registration. But the plan remained. We drove to Sacramento downtown, cityhall to sightsee a bit.

. Lan and family had graciously prepared braised duck and bun for our snack. Thus we took the opportunity to picnic by the river. Haha. that was truly a surprise. Braised duck! Oh man. 

 

The drive back was great too. Finally they let me drive for like 1.5 hr – 2hr then they took over. I feel sometimes it is more tiring for them to supervise me. Haha.  almost 9hrs on the road that day, 500+miles. Amazing uh. We had ramen at Irvine before heading back to SD.

It was a good trip, with kind friends. They were very nice to me, put up with my nonsense. Haha. it seems like it is a double date but don’t know fortunately or unfortunately, there was only 1 couple there. Of course this trip has caused some speculations. Oh well, nothing has happened since then. It was a blessing from God that we can go out as friends who are able to know how to take care of one another. Everyone has their own moment, it is how you present yourself and how you give and take while trying to fit into the team. Overall, thank God for the friendship. It was fun hanging out together, for sure.

 

And Yosemite especially the Tioga pass excursion and Vernal Fall hike had allowed me to witness His goodness and love to us again! Thank you Lord.

Yosemite National Park I

Day 1

 

The trip was a good one. I have always wanted to go there as everyone said Yosemite is one of the most beautiful NP in the world! Ta-dah, thank God for a good bunch of friends who are willing to travel with me. Most of all, they tried to satisfy my request. Hehe… they were very accommodating too.

We set off at noontime from SD to Irvine then had dinner at Fresno . wowo, we crave for Chinese food so we went to this place. Hoho, full of Caucasian. We were one of the few. The nicest thing is they do not have ‘Chinese’ menu, nothing in Chinese but the restaurant is run by some hongkees. We asked for a more authentic dish preparation and ya, it is still very Americanized. Oh well, they tried. The food there is cheaper than South California. 

We spent a night at Merced past 2am. My goodness, the courtyard Marriott was right beside a train track. We can actually hear honing in the early morning! So.. we did not really get to enjoy the bed that well.

Almost 7 hrs drive in a day. I have to give it to Charles and YY.

Day2

Yosemite Valley

 

Rise and shine. We decided to sleep less and headed to Yosemite early in the morning to avoid the crowd! We woke up and 6 and arrived at the park at 7.30pm. hehe. That was nice. 

 

Not many people, visitor center is not open until 8.30pm. so… we walked to Lower Yosemite Fall and back to Visitor Center deli for hot breakfast. Then we took the path to mirror lake after packing our sandwiches. Hehe.. it was pretty cloudy and drizzle most of the time. Well, good though, no sun.

One of the highlight of the day was we went to Vernal Fall. Nice hike. Up the hill. A bit strenuous but you met a lot of keen hikers along the trail. Good choice. Essentially we split into 2 small groups due to the interest and fitness level.

 

The drizzle is perfect. I like the splash from the fall. The vernal fall is humungous. I felt like I am at Niagara fall again!! Many wear raincoat, I use umbrella at times. It is as if I am in heaven. I just know I keep smiling and feeling very happy for such wonders. I was like a kid and I did not care how others see me. There were steps lead up to the top of the fall, it is again the journey and hardship and the fear that made the hike enjoyable. Of course YY was kind enough to keep a look out for me. 

Oh yes, along the way they (Charles and YY) fed the squirrels. We happened to bring walnut and it is hilarious to watch the animal munching his favorite food. Btw, you’re not supposed to feed them.

 

Day3

                       

Tioga Pass. I kept voicing out my want and the urge to see mono lake! Hehe. They were so kind again. We went past the park and took Tioga Pass for Meadow and Tenaya Lake! Based on the weather forecast, it was supposed to be warm. I wore short. No one would expect it snows at that height in the Yosemite NP. This NP is kind of big. Tourists usually go to Yosemite Valley but not other area. BroMY told me about it and I was persuaded and convinced to visit that! Hehe… btw, broMY had not been to the valley. Ha.

 

The drive was tough. The road was very whiny. Since my driving skill is not as good as them, they think it is a better idea for me to sit back and relax, than having them to be worrisome as I drive. Haha. We first stopped at this place to have some fun with the snow. Ha. Then we passed by the meadow and wow. The landscape is magnificent, really. Breathtaking. You see a different type of cascade and you’re simply in awe by God’s creation. Even when they are shiny bald dome, they look very pretty!!! Saw half dome from far.

Tenaya Lake is the next spot we stopped by for a picnic. Nice view. 

 

We strolled further to see the clear reflective lake. It is very beautiful. Sorry. I do not have many words to describe that. It was so serene and peaceful. 

 

Heaven again! We all found a spot for self for appreciation on the great nature. That was the first time we all wanted to do a star jump. PappaWill always told me about the picnic by the lake. I am glad we did that. Soaking the feet in the water is a blessing too.

 

We persevere and decide to drive further to see my mono lake. Once we went downhill, you can feel the drastic change of the temperature. Suddenly it becomes very hot and here we are, the desert! We followed the sign and went up to a vista point for Lake viewing.

 

I was like: NO, this is not what I expect. That could not be mono lake. They looked at me and smiled. Hehe… oh well, we then decided to drive to the visitor center for another shot.

As we passed by the board, I pointed to them that ‘TUFA’ is the thing that I hope to see and what I used to see in the pictures featuring mono lake. Haha. For all you know, Tufa only appears in less than 5% area of the lake and it can be found at certain corner. Haha. the lake itself is super big. No wonder. Haha.

 

We were very happy to locate where the tufa is. Took pictures. Star jump. Thank you for pardoning my childishness.

                                

The drive back to Mariposa was long. We listened to the mandarin praise song and they shared a bit of their lives. Interesting chat. I mean you feel the connection and fellowship in Christ.

First day was tiring but we all enjoyed the hike a lot.

Bundles of Joy

Special 号外 in my mailbox this morning. It is definitely exciting and thrilling and we can see how God has blessed the family!!!

Dec 12 and Apr 13. Hoho. Those are the wonderful and joyous events to celebrate!

I somehow think I inherit the anxiety genes from mom a lot. She is always worrisome and anxious about tomorrow. Me too. Perhaps I have a slightly positive outlook than her as I try to see beyond and pacify self that everything is gonna be alright.  

We might not know how to manage and arrange for the upcoming events. Yet we believe things will fall into places when it happens. 

cold

I don't quite understand how did i get a cold in this hot summer. a few culprit here.

• consecutive night out with insufficient rest
• 3 buttery pineapple cakes 

I don't think I have talked a lot more for the past few days. The truth is, I was down with cough. that is hard to believe. Hmm... twice in 2 months. Arghh... health going down hill.

Anyway, I was forced to stay home, for good. I guess. I went out for my usual brekkie session and marketing at Zion. Bought a lot of snack but I cannot eat those yet. Boo...

What have I achieved for the past 2.5 days.

• Watched Korean drama. 绅士的品格. Every now and then those romance comedy drama helps to spice up your life and great eye candy. hehe
• Cooked soup and make it into a porridge. Ate the same stuff for the whole Sunday. A bit boring though
• Finished reading the book written by Timothy Keller. Finally. It has been more than 1 month wanting to scan through and I kept procrastinating. oops. I am glad I did it.

Therefore the cough do me some good. Stay home bound. I wanted to jot down the recent thought on some of the growth and learning in life but I was again, very lazy. Oh yes, something proud to share. I did not turn on from laptop since 6pm last night. hehe... although I still have access to my touchpad, but that refrain me from spending longer time on the electronic device but to read my book.

Reminder from the Tues Worship session@ Rock. by Will Reagan (Nothing I hold onto, Climb)

I lean not on my own understanding
My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven

I Give it all to you God

Trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me

I will climb this mountain

With my hands wide open

There is nothing I hold on to

Why it matters to me this time? there are some sequential action items needed when it comes to surrender our lives onto His hand. First, GIVE Him your life, Second, TRUST Him for His beautiful and wonderful intentions.

I examined myself and realized that... I have given mine to Him but I seem to forget that I need to continue to trust in His providence and faithfulness. hehe... 

thank God for reminding me again!

Change

Recently I have been in conversations whereby we are going through changes, how should we embrace it  and what are the implications due to the change. I am kind of puzzled and shocked by some of the thought shared by others.

Shuffle at work. I went through the denial stage. As much as I appreciate and love working for Felt, I know we all need to move on. I face something which is uncommon to me and I got very unsettled and nervous. I could not comprehend the true meaning of this change and how it will then affect my career and life!

Felt encouraged me to talk to MarkC and GeoffS. It was a big step for me. Never in my life that I need to approach the bosses and ask them what they can offer and tell them how I can contribute in their team. I do not have the gut to ask. You mean dropping them a mail and tell them we need to chat? Seriously, It was a challenge to me. In the end, I did. I wrote and spoke to them. Thank God for the peace and wisdom. At times I cant quite decode well based on what they said but God sends angels to pacify and comfort me, and they help me to see the whole situation better.

BroMY told me. You are responsible for your fate. Therefore you have to tell them what you want. It was a shock to me. I mean, who is in control of my life? Isn't that God and not you, not me? 

Jessie was in town for BT. We went out for tea. Her comment was that: I thought you have become more open once you move to US. Interestingly she thinks that I am fine with pre-marital sex. she was like: why not? The most shocking thing I heard was that... If end days is coming, I will quickly get a man and do that. I was surprised. Could that be a sign of being too lonely? I mean the last thing you want to do when you know you have a few hours left is not to spend time with loved ones?

Anyway, I ask myself. being in oversea and in US, a place whereby human right is being uphold, am i entitled   and more susceptible to more liberty and self-realization? I know for sure, I do not live for myself, but the God who loves me, the family and friends who care and love me. I hope I do not do things just for my small self (小我) ,my own pleasure and self satisfaction, but for the big-self (大我). God created as an individual and He placed others in our lives. The spot light should be on all of us, not just me. 

Dust has more or less settled. God is always merciful and gracious to me. I chose GS. The stubbornness and curiousity drove me to that decision. Yes, he is a rookie manager. It would be fairer for me to give him a chance and vice verse. How can I dismiss him based on the review? Also, I am intrigued by the project itself. I don't know what it entails but I know it is going to be super fun and demanding in the near future.

Just do it. God is with me. I hope to cling on to Him only in every circumstances.

Change is constant and inevitable. Be still in this changing world for our Lord God is immutable.

好吃！

Sometimes I would think I am quite an innovative cook :D and I took pride in it. 

Compromise

so.. during YAF retreat, we went to Temecula. Interestingly this pastor talked about Esther and Mordecai.  He gave another perspective on how one reads Book of Esther.

Mordecai and Esther had been living in a compromised environment. They allowed themselves to be immersed in the world of Pagan and Materialistic as the plan to get Esther into the palace and become a concubine, if not queen some day.

Compromise - godless living. what is more scary is, it takes away your virtue slowly.

what an insight!

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Tonight at Maranatha Chapel, the visiting Calvary Chapel Pastor spoke about fear. Fear is an absence of faith. My hiking buddy shared this story with me. When fear knocks on the door, Faith replies by saying 'no one home'. :)

2Tim 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 

Our God is more powerful than we can ever imagine. He is higher and greater than any other thing or people. In Christ, there is no fear as when He is for us, who can against us. Whom then shall I fear? Only the Lord that we should revere and worship. He is a powerful God, more than words. He is immutable. He loves us that He gave His own son for us. Nothing can separate us from His love. He also gives us a sound mind to live a life worthy for His name. therefore, seek Him and may the Lord teach us to number our days and to win the battle against the enemy. Amen.