Change

Recently I have been in conversations whereby we are going through changes, how should we embrace it  and what are the implications due to the change. I am kind of puzzled and shocked by some of the thought shared by others.

Shuffle at work. I went through the denial stage. As much as I appreciate and love working for Felt, I know we all need to move on. I face something which is uncommon to me and I got very unsettled and nervous. I could not comprehend the true meaning of this change and how it will then affect my career and life!

Felt encouraged me to talk to MarkC and GeoffS. It was a big step for me. Never in my life that I need to approach the bosses and ask them what they can offer and tell them how I can contribute in their team. I do not have the gut to ask. You mean dropping them a mail and tell them we need to chat? Seriously, It was a challenge to me. In the end, I did. I wrote and spoke to them. Thank God for the peace and wisdom. At times I cant quite decode well based on what they said but God sends angels to pacify and comfort me, and they help me to see the whole situation better.

BroMY told me. You are responsible for your fate. Therefore you have to tell them what you want. It was a shock to me. I mean, who is in control of my life? Isn't that God and not you, not me? 

Jessie was in town for BT. We went out for tea. Her comment was that: I thought you have become more open once you move to US. Interestingly she thinks that I am fine with pre-marital sex. she was like: why not? The most shocking thing I heard was that... If end days is coming, I will quickly get a man and do that. I was surprised. Could that be a sign of being too lonely? I mean the last thing you want to do when you know you have a few hours left is not to spend time with loved ones?

Anyway, I ask myself. being in oversea and in US, a place whereby human right is being uphold, am i entitled   and more susceptible to more liberty and self-realization? I know for sure, I do not live for myself, but the God who loves me, the family and friends who care and love me. I hope I do not do things just for my small self (小我) ,my own pleasure and self satisfaction, but for the big-self (大我). God created as an individual and He placed others in our lives. The spot light should be on all of us, not just me. 

Dust has more or less settled. God is always merciful and gracious to me. I chose GS. The stubbornness and curiousity drove me to that decision. Yes, he is a rookie manager. It would be fairer for me to give him a chance and vice verse. How can I dismiss him based on the review? Also, I am intrigued by the project itself. I don't know what it entails but I know it is going to be super fun and demanding in the near future.

Just do it. God is with me. I hope to cling on to Him only in every circumstances.

Change is constant and inevitable. Be still in this changing world for our Lord God is immutable.