N-4-1

好不容易等到了个消息。等的过程真不好受！因为我几乎不懂得该如何走下去，因为被悬挂在半空；要打消念头不是不可以，而是要有比较明确的暗示明示嘛，不然如何心死啊？

Step # N-4

After some thought, I wrote to Sara to check the status. I can still remember vividly the whole scenario that day. I was so scared and nervous upon clicking Sara’s mail. To be very honest, I got to have the courage to accept the outcome. The waiting days has been real lousy, you just don’t have any motivation to do others but to wait for the notification. Be it good or bad, at least there is something.

Tata, she said Richard will contact me on Friday or this week. OK, The waiting prolongs but thankfully I have got some sort of confirmation.

I can hardly imagine how my day would be if the mail turn out not to be in favour of me. As much as I can try my very best to prepare self for the worst, I seriously hope it can be smooth sailing. Richard actually dropped me a mail last Friday :) so two F2Fs are in the line waiting for me. Ha.

Many thanks to msJC to help to rephrase the q to Sara. I am simply too blunt.

What's next?! Step #N-5 = N-4-1

God actually places angels around to encourage and help. I am deeply moved and grateful to those gifts. Mel has kindly brief me ICD stuffs and showed me the org chart. For that moment, I am truly shocked and speechless. This is very diffferent from ICS and BPD. Mel asked me one question which I fail to answer. What kind of growth i see in myself in BPD? wowow, i am sure birdnest may not be able to answer that too. Then again, since i have been in SCF for 3.5 years, i should know. ha. Else how to lead the group? how timely it is!

Told msJC about it and she said isn't that what i expect to see? Ha. yahor,maybe I have not gone that far in worrying that aspect.

Then willT helped to brief me on the kind of technical stuffs. Wowo, i reliase how little i know and how am I going to boast about myself? well, bible teaches us not to boast too mcuh about self. God is the determiner and ya, if it is of God's will, He will take care of that.

I may go ahead and write my plans with pencil and i should also let God have the eraser

Guess what, i start to dream and imagine what will happen next? AM i thinking too much? I dunno. Eh, i am just wondering, can i just dream wildly for these 2 weeks and then, pray for a calm and obedient heart when the reality reveals itself.

jiayou jiayou!! DO your part, give your best!!!